Two of my readers have been bugging me for weeks now to write another post. I must admit, I sometimes wonder whether my thoughts are really so important that the world wants to read them. But anyway here we go – it is not original but something I probably intuitively knew all my life but then explicitly learned while taking a course a few years ago.
In a nutshell, it is like the title says or more specifically, don’t complain and consider yourself a victim, but rather take ownership of the situation and realize that if you take over responsibility you also have the power to change it.
During the course the teacher used the following two questions as examples:
“When you speak to somebody and they don’t understand you, how much of that misunderstanding would you attribute to yourself and how much to the other person?”
“When you listen to someone and you don’t understand what they’re saying, how much of that misunderstanding would you attribute to the other person and how much to yourself?”
Then we were asked to give our answer in percentages.
When you think about it, it comes down to the fact that it is 100% up to you to make yourself understood and to understand the other party. Once you realize this and take the responsibility for it, you also have the power to drive a conversation such that it becomes an effective two way communication.
You can apply this principle pretty much to all situations in life. Note to scientists: it doesn’t work to violate the laws of physics. :-)
For example, if you feel your job does not give the kind of satisfaction you’re looking for, it is up to you to do something about it – this is no one else’s responsibility. Once you start doing something you’re the one in power and control.
I wonder what you think about this principle? Please let me know your experiences.